the list that scares you
a blueprint forward.
fat, bald, and ugly.
that’s where i was headed — fast.
…
most of us drift through life lounging in what i call the steam room of indecision.
it’s kinda a vibe—warm, cozy, and full of fog.
but it’s silently strangling your potential.
wrapped in a comforting haze, we tell ourselves that the path forward is unclear.
except, that’s a lie.
you already know what you need to do.
my wake up call
arrived courtesy of the shower drain.
peering down, i noticed an alarming whirlpool of hairs.
way too many hairs.
wait, aren’t i too young for this?
& my grandfather had a great head of hair. that’s how it works, right??
(it’s not)
→ queue existential crisis
i never worked out.
didn’t like it.
or more accurately—i was intimidated by the entire concept.
but deep down, i knew eventually i’d have to face the dragon colloquially known as “the gym”.
faced with this mound of swirling hairs, i had two options:
pretend it wasn’t happening and get real innovative with my hairstyles.
ask my barber for the zero shave.
but being bald has a catch..
you have to be fit.
non-negotiable.
what you’re avoiding most is usually the exact thing you need most.
we’re world-class avoiders.
that’s why we love the steam room.
it allows us to be blissfully “unaware” of what we need to do.
luckily, there’s a cheat code to escaping the steam room — the when will i list.
it’s unlocked many of the things i’m most proud of today:
when will i.. start writing publicly? → this substack
when will i.. become someone who take bold action? → evidence doc & the year of living boldly
when will i.. give this content thing a proper go? → the 100 day challenge
when will i.. become a great storyteller? → joining toastmasters
when will i.. quit nicotine (okay, i had a few cheeky cigs in new york after 13 months of no nico—nobody’s perfect!)
right now, your brain is flooded with vague anxieties.
anxiety sucks.
and it’s hard to pin down because,
anxiety is just unfocused fear.
— arthur brooks
& you haven’t yet named those fears because:
i don’t know what i think until i write it down.
— joan didion
putting thoughts on paper is a small act of magic.
it transforms vague anxieties into actionable steps.
once named, you have clarity.
clarity gives direction.
direction creates momentum.
but clarity without action? that’s purgatory.
and purgatory sucks.
the hidden cost of doing nothing
everyone has regrets (admit it or not).
and most regrets?
they’re regrets of inaction.
daniel pink, author of ‘the power of regret’ ran a massive survey on the topic.
he estimates the number of people who regret never leaving that job vs. regret leaving a job is 50 to 1.
but back to my shower drain situ — the cost of inaction was brutally clear:
fat, bald and ugly.
yours might be worse… waking up in midlife next to the wrong partner, in the cockpit of a porsche 911, asking, how’d i get here?
this is your anti-vision board.
a grim forecast of what happens if you don’t act(ion).
BONUS ROUND:
76% of people on their deathbed regret one thing: not living up to their potential.
awareness → action
the gap between your awareness and action should be razor thin.
— sahil bloom
so how do you close the gap?
a. create your ‘when will i’ list
this brings awareness.
set a timer: 5 minutes — pen meets paper, don’t stop.
be brutally honest — list everything you’ve been avoiding, especially the scary stuff.
embrace the discomfort — the uneasiness you feel? it’s a signpost you’re moving towards something important.
create a notes doc — boil the above list down to a concise list of when will i’s and add it to your notes app for easy access.
if you don’t have a ton there, don’t worry.
these thoughts take a while to percolate up.
but when they do, you’ll need a place to store them. that’s where your when will i list comes in—capturing those errant thoughts that you’d normally dismiss.
over time, this list will become your compass forward.
b. stack rank your list
this brings action.
pick the highest impact item.
identify one small step you can do in the next 5 minutes to take a meaningful step forwards.
now do it.
your best life is waiting, it’s just on the other side of a bit of discomfort.
see you on the other side.
-t