13 Comments
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Santosh P.'s avatar

underrated piece, i love this concept & love the greg isenberg ref aha

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tadzio dlugolecki's avatar

greg the goat

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Cayla Vidmar's avatar

Love this one! My current 2%rs are all over the map 🙃 time to find some local ones.

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tadzio dlugolecki's avatar

i hear ya! if only they could all live within a 15 minute walk of me, then all would be well.

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Eden's avatar

Hi, I know this is an old post but how do you navigate hurting/disappointing others in the process of friend pruning, my biggest struggle is people that are so attached to me I don’t want any thing to do with them and they don’t get the subtle always I can’t hangout etc would love to know if you have some tips 😊

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tadzio dlugolecki's avatar

it's funny, i’ve rarely had to explicitly say “this relationship isn’t working” — though that is an option if someone really isn’t picking up on the subtler signals and the relationship is draining.

in most cases, as you start investing more in the relationships that give you energy, you’ll naturally have less time for others. you can also schedule creative dates with yourself — literally block them out on your calendar. if someone reaches out during that time, you can just say, “hey, this is my creative day” or “i’m booked up today.” for me, i genuinely enjoy my own company so much that it takes a lot for someone to surpass that. more often than not, i’d rather be doing something creative than spending time with someone who doesn’t add to my energy.

at the end of the day, you’ve got to get comfortable saying no. you can keep it simple, no need to overexplain — “i’m booked,” “can’t do today,” etc. — and usually, those relationships just start to fade out on their own.

and if you ever do need to have a direct conversation, it's helpful to frame it as an energy thing. it's more objective & w/o judgment. akin to: i've got these two puzzle pieces, and their ridges don't quite match up. it's neither of their fault—there's just not that chemistry there.

last note — i'm far more reluctant to book hard plans in the future now, unless it's an absolute fuck yes. instead i'll say let's touch base that day and can play it by ear (gives you flexibility to follow your mood that day).

-t

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Eden's avatar

Fantastic suggestion, thank you:)

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Patryk Wielopolski's avatar

recurring events are so true! I started doing that few months ago and it completely changed trajectory of my relationships. overall, great article!

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tadzio dlugolecki's avatar

thanks! you polish btw?

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tadzio dlugolecki's avatar

cześć!

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Mary's avatar

Maaan, i am a fan of this 2%ers idea!! But I definitely need some advices how to find those ppl 🥲 When it comes to my family, I’m more than lucky, I have wonderful parents and amazing siblings (two sisters and one brother), just love spending time with them all! But other than that, I’m pretty lonely, lost many friendships over time (they just weren’t my 2%ers for sure) and am struggling with meeting new people 🤷🏽‍♀️

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tadzio dlugolecki's avatar

it's definitely not easy. i've found that once you find one, they typically have other good folks around them. organizing group dinners where each person invites someone else is a great way to tap those other folks around them.

can't put a price on good family so you're very fortunate in that regard!

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